No Anime is Complete Without Lesbian Subtext
by Roxius
Summary: Very strange things are going on with both Shinpachi's sister Otae and her dear friend Kyubei. One of these things...is the fact that they are lovers. Otae X Kyubei shoujo ai. Takes place after the Yagyu arc, of course. Please R & R!


A few weeks after the incident with the Yagyu family, both Shinpachi and Gintoki noticed changes in Otae, Shin's sister. She would always leave early in the day and come back late at night tired and covered in sweat. She also seemed much happier and more cheerful as of late. Concerning about her wellbeing, Shin brought the subject up as he, Gintoki and Kagura ate fried rice for dinner one night.

"...It's not that I don't like seeing her happy," Shin explained, "But...with a personality like hers, it does make me feel uneasy..."

"Maybe she became a prostitute. You can join her." Gintoki replied without emotion.

Shinpachi was about to punch his curly-haired friend across the face, but he didn't want to risk spilling any of the rice, so he just sighed and continued eating. Kagura, who was just finishing up her tenth bowl of rice, decided to speak up.

"She's been visting Kyubei Yagyu every day, degozaru. I see them kiss alot, and they always get naked and climb in bed about halfway through..."

Gintoki slammed his bowl of rice on the table and exclaimed, "DEGOZARU? DEGOZARU? WHAT, YOU THINK YOU'RE SOME KIND OF OLD-STYLE NINJA OR SOMETHING, YOU PATHETIC LITTLE BITCH? PLUS...WHY THE HELL DID YOU WATCH THOSE TWO HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME? DO YOU GET OFF SEEING DELICIOUS GAY PORN LIKE THAT? I BET YOU DO! HOWEVER, THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME MOST THOUGH...IS WHY YOU NEVER WENT AND GOT ME TO COME AND SEE IT TOO!"

Shinpachi, on the other hand, was practically going into hysterics over the idea of his sister having lesbian sex. 'Two young women...Kyubei Yagyu...and my sister...they're having sex...an indecent relationship...it's hot...really hot...but it's my sister, for crying out loud! But...thinking about it...it does kind of make sense. My sister and Kyubei had a real strong friendship...and we all know what Kyubei's sexual prefrences are, so...damn, I gotta stop thinking so much...this paragraph is too long already...'

When Shinpachi looked up, he saw that Kagura and Gintoki were busy playing cards. Looking up from his hand, Gintoki said, "Oi, you done with your internal monologue yet? We have some lesbians we could be spying on right now!" Kagura nodded to show she agreed with Gintoki's statement.

Sighing, Shinpachi got up from the table and grabbed his wooden sword from underneath the couch...just in case.

"Hey, Shinpachi! You're supposed to wait for us! Dammit! I said wait for us! Stop trying to act cool! Hey! Shinpachiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Do you think just because you wear glasses, you think you can do whatever you want? Listen to me, you - oh, you ARE waiting for us! Good, then..."

"SHUT UP, GINTOKI!"

* * *

"Ooh...O-Otae...why...why haven't you told the others about us yet?"

"Don't worry...my little brother is smart...he can figure it out on his own...it's kind of obvious, anyway."

"S-S-Seriously? I thought you said-"

"Well...I do disappear alot of the time, I never speak about you in front of Shinpachi or Gintoki, and...we all know what your sexual preferences are..."

"Damn!"

"After everything that happened with that incident with your family, it should have been seen coming..."

"...W-Whatever. Just...just give me back my eyepatch okay. I feel naked without it..."

"Hee hee...but you ARE naked, honey."

"I don't care. Give it back!"

"No."

"Damn!"

* * *

Shinpachi, Gintoki and Kagura eventually found themselves stopping at a nearby bar for a drink. Since none of them knew were Otae and Kyubei were currently hiding, they decided to give up the chase as soon as they had started it.

"We couldn't just go around Edo searching for lesbians...it would take too long..." Shinpachi muttered, downing his third drink. All the alcohol seeping into his system was starting to make him feel a little tipsy, too. Kagura didn't seem to be affected (which was probably a good thing, considering how dangerous she really was), and Gintoki was already out cold.

"Another one over here-aru!" Kagura demanded, banging her fist so hard down onto the counter that it broke right through it.

Sighing, Shinpachi said, "I hope my sister and Kyubei are having lesbian sex right now..."

"We already did, for your information."

Glancing to the side, Shinpachi saw his sister and Kyubei sitting right next to him. Due to the fact that both girls were still flustered and out of breath, and Kyubei had her eyepatch covering the wrong eye, they had probably just finished "making love".

Rolling his eyes, Shinpachi slammed his head down on the counter and let his consciousness drift away...


End file.
